Bad Words

I don’t mean swear words. I mean bad words. These words are pissing me off right now.

Feels (As a noun, unforuntately)

“Watching that video of the person hugging the dying kid always gives me the feels.”

A person does not get “The Feels”, they have feelings. It is okay to have feelings, they are natural and come from within. It isn’t like, the chills, or the gout. You have emotions, kiddo. Welcome to humanity.


“Jeff and Joe are so close, it is a total bromance.”

What Jeff and Joe are displaying is called friendship. Unlike romance which is built on infatuation mixed with love, friendship is built on mutual respect and trust. Also, you can’t be a friend with a bro, because a bro cannot be respected. As such, on both parts of the portmanteau, bromance is terrible.


“I wanted to smash, but she’s keeping me in the friend-zone.”

Much like Bromance, this is generally known as friendship. In this case, however, it has an added dose of unrequited affection. You have feelings (not feels) for the person, but they don’t share those feelings for you. Ladies and gentlemen, the implications in this word alone belie any benefit to its existence.


“Your hott lemme smash.”

Saying this to anyone should revoke your license to have sex. You remember how on TV sitcoms they would sit the teenaged son or daughter down and, to synthesized violin, the parental figure would say ” You’ll know when you’re ready for sex.”? Here is a way to know. If you say this you are not ready. I get the feeling that many people only say this ironically, but the problem is that it provides cover for the people who don’t. Just like the plauge of “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all yo clothes.”, if we keep saying it in jest- we still have to keep hearing it in earnest.



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